Falling

I love fall. I think it's probably because it involves so much joy in my family-- my grandmother's birthday, uncle's birthday, my parents' anniversary, (now my fakeiversary/dating anniversary), Halloween, my birthday, my grandfather's birthday, thanksgiving, my dad's birthday. In that order. All between late September til the end of November. Oh, and the start of college basketball season. I love the crunchy leaves, the MILLIONS of acorns that fall in my yard at home, the biting wind that isn't quite cold enough to make you want to die yet, the smells, the 70-degree-days, the abundant good food. Apples being in season, and the many apple desserts. Soup weather. Sweater weather. Start-thinking-about-fires weather. Pulling the gloves and jackets and adorable fall clothes out of the closet. And the food, did I mention the food? Food, abundant and delicious and fattening. And family.

School is picking up for be bigtime, with many many things due between now and Dec. 3rd. I can't believe I have just a month and half left of my first semester of grad school. It's gone insanely fast. And with all the work piling up, I feel like it's going to start to go faster. I sort of missed the joy of fall last year, because the GRE and grad school application process took a huge toll on me emotionally and psychologically. I was a mess. But this year... I'm doing okay. Enormous and scary things are happening, the world could collapse a thousand different ways any day now-- people I love are getting uncomfortably close to death, people I'm scared of are getting uncomfortably close to being elected to high, powerful offices. But I'm still relatively happy and okay. I'm feeling generally at peace with my life. Not all the time, not everyday, but enough of the time to be all right.

I had a really good conversation with an old friend tonight, which I think is having a huge effect on my mood. We hadn't really talked in a very long time, and a lot of loose ends and confusion and hurt feelings had been left dangling in space and suppressed, and a good deal of that was brought out into the open. I think it was helpful for both of us to finally get to talk about it. It definitely, definitely was for me.